Strontium Dog Recap #3: The Swine of Space

Fear Planet is back with another deep dive into the brutal world of Johnny Alpha and his Strontium Dog adventures. This marks the third recap I’ve tackled from the grimy, post-apocalyptic universe that some of the greatest creators of the British SF Comic Magazine 2000AD gifted us, and honestly, I can’t get enough of this raw, uncompromising storytelling.

“Papa Por-Ka” originally ran in the Starlord Science Fiction Comic Magazine issues #3-5, and creative powerhouses assembled for this tale, as usual. John Wagner brought his signature hard-edged writing, while Carlos Ezquerra delivered artwork that still makes me stop and stare decades later. Peter Knight and Jack Potter handled the lettering duties, ensuring every word hit with the impact of a warhammer to the skull.

This particular story is essential because it’s where Johnny Alpha truly becomes the legend we know him as. We also get introduced to more insane gadgets from his murderous arsenal, we witness his moral complexity, and we get to meet an alien character who’ll be a staple of the series for years to come. Exciting times!

Synopsis

The story kicks off on Earth, where Johnny and his time-displaced Viking partner Wulf are boarding the Starliner ‘Sondheim’, heading to planet Pol for a bounty. Right from the gate, we are again reminded of the harsh reality of this universe – after they’re forced to check their weapons at security, they’re treated like common criminals and get verbally assaulted by passengers who demand “mutants ride cargo.” The prejudice is thick enough to cut with a knife.

Wulf’s ready to crack skulls, but Johnny keeps his cool. They head to the cargo hold, swallowing their pride because sometimes survival means picking your battles. It’s a moment that shows Johnny’s tactical mind – he knows when to fight and when to bide his time. But don’t worry, readers, this is just writer John Wagner ensuring that whatever tragedy is going to befall these bigoted ‘norms’ is going to taste that much sweeter.

While in the cargo hold Johnny and Wulf make the acquaintance of an alien passenger traveling in a trunk – the metal-eating Gronk! A four-armed fur-covered creature reminiscent of the Addams Family’s Cousin IT, but with a protuberant snout, large eyes, and a massive fanged mouth in its stomach, the Gronk promptly freaks out Wulf by ingesting various metals. Wulf soon becomes fast friends with the little alien, though.

Meanwhile, in the cold void of space, we witness the infamous space pirate Papa Por-Ka’s massive vessel looming like a metallic nightmare. This isn’t just any space pirate – Papa Por-Ka is the swine of space, a grotesque pig-man with an eyepatch, fangs, and armor that screams futuristic death. And the design of Por-Ka’s predatory spacecraft by Ezquerra here rivals anything the legendary SF artist Chris Foss ever painted, and that’s saying something.

The pirates strike with ruthless efficiency. A tractor beam snares the Sondheim, and Johnny uses his alpha eyes to pierce through the cargo bay doors, spotting the threat. The captain desperately calls for help, but their weapons are locked away – a cruel irony that Wagner uses to ratchet up the tension.

What follows is pure brutality. Johnny and Wulf fight like cornered animals, grabbing whatever makeshift weapons they can find – spanners, tools, furniture – and turning them into instruments of violence. They’re outnumbered, but they make every blow count. Still, numbers win out, and they’re captured.

Papa Por-Ka’s true sadism emerges when he starts to execute passengers by jettisoning them into space. The image of people screaming in the vacuum (inexplicably) while freezing to death is unsettling, but these mutant-haters deserve their comeuppance, right?

Johnny and Wulf are offered a deal – join the pirate crew or die. They refuse, naturally, and get tossed in the brig.

Is it curtains for Wulf and Johnny? No! The Gronk becomes their salvation, using his corrosive saliva to eat through the brig bars like a laser blast through butter. After freeing the Stronts, he retreats to his trunk, his multiple weak hearts struggling with the excitement. After all, he did mention earlier that all Gronks have very “weak heartses.”

Johnny and Wulf make their move toward the security locker to reunite with their beloved weapons, but pirates spot ’em! They dive inside and Johnny hurls a time bomb – or “time trap” – that freezes the pursuing pirates in a two-second time loop for eternity. It’s a fate worse than death, and Wagner doesn’t shy away from the implications.

Now fully armed to the teeth, Johnny and Wulf become the predators. Wulf uses his “happy stick” – a massive warhammer – to silently take out sentries. Johnny’s alpha eyes pierce walls, revealing the pirates’ positions clustered in the main lounge with the hostages.

Here’s where Johnny’s tactical genius shines. He deploys his beam polarizer, a disc that attracts all laser fire, then dons his Electronux – knuckle dusters that deliver 20,000 volts per each punch. The final assault is poetry in motion: Wulf swinging his sledgehammer like a berserker while Johnny delivers fatal electrical uppercuts and roundhouses.

Papa Por-Ka tries one last desperate gambit, holding the captain hostage with a blade to his throat. But Johnny refuses to back down. He nods to Wulf, who destroys the beam polarizer with a hammer toss, freeing Johnny to use his weapons. Johnny sets his laser blaster’s range finder to detonate after passing harmlessly through the captain’s body, exploding in Papa Por-Ka’s shoulder.

The pig-man is beaten but not dead. Johnny makes what seems to be a mistake – he lets Papa Por-Ka and his surviving crew leave with their lives. Everyone criticizes this decision, but Johnny knows something they don’t.

As the pirates reach their ship, laughing about their plan to now simply blast the Sondheim to smithereens, Johnny springs his trap. He tells Por-Ka to check his pocket, where the Space Swine finds a mini nuke, courtesy of Johnny’s nimble fingers. Johnny’s remote detonation trigger ends the swine of space and his crew in a burst of nuclear fire and charred space bacon.

The story concludes with tragedy and triumph intertwined. The captain apologizes and thanks Johnny, who uses the moment to deliver a powerful message about treating mutants with dignity. But the Stronts’ celebration is cut short when they find their new pal The Gronk dying – his weak hearts just couldn’t handle the excitement.

In the Gronk’s final moments, a bizarre custom is enacted. The Gronk asks Wulf to honor a Gronk tradition: skin him and wear his hide as a jerkin!! It’s grotesque and beautiful simultaneously, a gesture of ultimate friendship that leaves Wulf devastated but honored. Johnny’s final line – “At least the Gronk’s traveling first class with us, Wulf, all the way” – perfectly captures the bittersweet victory as Wulf shows off his brand new fur jerkin to the rest of the now contrite passengers. Wowza.

Choice Moments

Here are just a few of the best bits from this tale:

1. The Gronk’s Introduction: The first appearance of this metal-eating alien is pure genius. Wagner and Esquerra create a character who’s simultaneously alien and relatable, frightening and endearing. Watching Wolf’s horrified reaction as the Gronk casually munches on rusty chain while offering to share is comedy gold that doesn’t diminish the creature’s ultimate heroism.

2. Johnny’s Weapon Arsenal Showcase: This story introduces us to Johnny’s signature arsenal – the beam polarizer, Electronux, and his blaster’s range-finding capabilities. Each weapon feels unique and tactical, not just generic sci-fi gadgets. The beam polarizer sequence is particularly brilliant, turning the pirates’ superior firepower against them.

3. The Time Trap Sequence: Johnny’s use of the time bomb to freeze pursuing pirates in a two-second loop is both creative and horrifying. Wagner doesn’t just use it as a convenient plot device – he makes us think about the implications of being trapped in time forever. It’s a fate that makes death seem merciful.

4. Death by Mini Nuke: Johnny’s delivers the coup de grace by being more deceptive than Por-Ka, devastating the pirate crew with a nuclear blast and ensuring the safety of the spaceways in the process.

5. The Gronk’s Sacrifice and Final Wish: The ending hits like a war-mallet to the chest. The Gronk’s dying wish for Wulf to skin him and wear his hide as a jerkin is grotesque yet profoundly moving. It’s a moment that shows Wagner’s willingness to creatively shock while honoring genuine emotion and friendship.

Mutie Musings

“Papa Por-Ka” represents everything that makes Strontium Dog exceptional – it’s violent, thoughtful, and uncompromising in its vision. Wagner doesn’t create a simple good-versus-evil narrative; he crafts a story that examines prejudice, friendship, and the cost of survival in a brutal universe.

Johnny Alpha emerges as a complex hero who’s willing to endure humiliation and fight impossible odds not just for money, but for principle. His decision to let Papa Por-Ka go, and planting that mini nuke, shows tactical brilliance that goes beyond simple heroics. It’s cold, calculated, and absolutely necessary.

Ezquerra’s artwork deserves special recognition. His designs for Papa Por-Ka, his alien crew, and the Gronk are instant classics, while his action sequences have a kinetic energy that makes every punch and hammer blow feel visceral. The way he draws Johnny’s wild hair throughout the story almost makes it seem like a mutant power itself.

The story’s treatment of prejudice feels particularly relevant. The casual cruelty of the passengers and crew toward Johnny and Wolf isn’t just window dressing – it’s integral to understanding why these characters fight so hard for respect and dignity. When Johnny berates the captain at the end, it carries real weight because we’ve seen the consequences of dehumanization.

What strikes me most is how Wagner balances brutal action with genuine emotion. The Gronk’s death could have been manipulative schmaltz, but instead it feels earned and honest. Wolf’s grief is real because their friendship, however brief, was real.

This isn’t just a great Strontium Dog story – it’s a compelling blend of spectacular action with meaningful character development. It sets up dynamics and themes that will resonate throughout the series, while standing perfectly on its own as a complete narrative.

If you haven’t read “Papa Por-Ka,” you’re missing out on one of 2000 AD’s finest action tales. It’s available in the Strontium Dog Collection “The Starlord Years” through 2000AD’s webshop or Amazon.co.uk, and the hardcover edition is worth every penny. This is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand why Johnny Alpha remains one of comics’ greatest antiheroes.

Join us again next time, when we return for a shocker of a tale called…”No Cure For Kansyr!”

Thanks for reading, Fear Planet denizens!